You know… I was thinking long and hard about what to write today. I actually had a completely different topic in mind. The first draft was almost finished, but somehow, this felt more important. The thing is, I know myself pretty well by now (same old story, I know). And I’m aware that sometimes I might come off as cold or distant. The classic black cat friend, if you will. But the truth is, I care deeply. Maybe a little too much sometimes. I’m just not great at saying it out loud. So here I am, trying to do it in the way I know best. By writing.
Right now, I’m typing this from a cozy café somewhere in Seoul, sipping my signature iced americano (don’t worry, matcha – you’ll always be my first love 😉). I’ve been traveling around Korea with a good friend. It’s her first time here, and I’ve loved showing her around. The places I love, the hidden cafés, even the random BTS-related stops (she’s a huge fan). We’ve made new memories, discovered new spots, and just soaked in the experience.
Traveling together always brings moments. Good ones, funny ones, and sometimes tough ones. There are days when we’re tired, maybe a little on edge. She thrives on social energy (hello, extrovert), while I need quiet time to recharge. But that’s the thing about friendship: you learn each other’s rhythms.
And the reason I’m writing this is simple: I’m not always the best at saying what I feel. So this is my way of telling her, and maybe the people I love in general, all the things I sometimes leave unsaid. Even if I seem quiet, or distracted, or moody, it’s never that I don’t care. Quite the opposite. I love that she’s enjoying this trip. I love seeing her eyes light up when she finds something new. I love that she pushes me out of my comfort zone, makes me talk more, helps me be a little more social (believe it or not, I’m actually improving at small talk). I love that I get to share this version of myself with her. The version that exists here in Korea, and that there’s no judgment.
She probably doesn’t realize it, but seeing her happy makes me happy. Watching her tear up over moments that mean a lot to her makes me emotional too. I love that she’s trying new things, doing things she’d never do at home. And I love that we can both have our space when we need it. I mean, I can’t really blame her for not wanting to follow my gym schedule, right? 😉
Now, let me tell you something and I hope she doesn’t kill me for sharing this (she won’t, but still). Yesterday, she was supposed to go on a date. She got all ready. Hair done, cute outfit, the whole thing. I left for the gym feeling so proud of her for putting herself out there. Fast forward a few hours: I was dying on the leg press (and it wasn’t even leg day) when she texted that the guy didn’t show up. I was furious at first, he had seemed decent. But, you know, that’s dating apps for you.
When she came back to the apartment, I told her we were going out anyway. She had already made the effort, so why waste it? We ended up at this lovely restaurant in Itaewon with a foggy view of Namsan Tower. The food was amazing, the vibe was just right. But then, somewhere between bites, we started talking about my move. And it hit both of us how much things are about to change. We’ve gotten so used to seeing each other all the time, and soon there will be an ocean between us. And in that exact moment, I realized there’s so much I want to tell her.
I’m grateful we met.
I’m grateful we became this close.
I’m grateful she challenges me, makes me laugh, and accepts me as I am.
I’m grateful for her energy, her kindness, her stubbornness, her heart.
I’m grateful for her clumsiness, her laugh, her tears of joy.
Most of all, I just want her to know how much I love her and how proud I am of her. Of everything she’s done, and everything she’s still going to do. Even though we’ll be apart for a while, and it’s going to be hard, I know we’ll manage. We always do.
matcha latte on a rainy night 