Kicking off this post with a little dose of reality – it feels like I’m caught in a never-ending cycle. I get back from vacation, and suddenly I’m right back to prioritizing work while my personal needs take a backseat. I’m not pointing fingers at the company or anyone in particular; it’s really about how I’m handling things.
So, I’ve been back from Korea for about a month now, and wow, work has been absolutely wild. I thought the pre-Christmas rush would be the toughest part – turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong! This past month has thrown me into a whirlwind of tight deadlines, colleagues out sick, and being short-staffed, all while I’m grappling with my own health issues. But this post isn’t just a rant about work; it’s more about setting the scene for where I’m headed with all of this.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about whether it’s time to leave my job. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty overworked, and my gym routine has completely fallen off the rails (not all because of work, but it’s definitely the biggest reason). My personal life is taking a hit because I’m just so drained. There was this one moment when I was heading home from a gathering, feeling so overwhelmed that I almost broke down in tears on the train. And you know what? That’s not even the toughest part. I really miss my creativity and, in a way, my happiness. It’s like they just disappear the moment I step back into Switzerland and fall back into my usual routine (not that I’m forgetting about my amazing friends and family, of course).
I miss those cozy moments in a café, writing about my life for you to read or diving into my story. I miss those spontaneous walks, whether it’s day or night, wandering through neighborhoods and stumbling upon hidden gems. I miss just being outside without a packed schedule. I miss sitting on the bus, headphones in, listening to my music while the skyline rolls by. I miss having time to myself – to reflect and do the things that truly light me up. But above all, I really miss my daily writing.
This year, I’ve decided to take longer weekends to recharge. But even after an amazing getaway (like my trip to Dublin with my friend), the cycle starts all over again. And since I always aim to be honest with you, my lovely readers, I have to admit that right now, I’m not happy. I feel stuck, sad, and a bit lost. It’s a scary feeling, trying to put on a brave face and smile when inside, I’m struggling. I’m not one to overshare or reach out for help, even though I know I probably should.
I realize that I need to change my situation myself; it’s all on me. But we all know that’s easier said than done. So, I’m not going to wrap this post up with a neat little bow or a positive takeaway like I usually do. This post is meant to be raw – just me sharing my feelings while I search for answers and a way to take care of myself. I’m trying to overcome these feelings of being lost, sad, and unhappy. So, I’ll leave you with a quote from a song that hit me hard yesterday:
“And I hope that I find what I’m looking for.”
matcha latte on a rainy night 